Saturday, May 16, 2009


Well, writer’s block right off the bat. I guess that is par for the course. I finally made a decision to sit down and do that writing project my husband (I'll just call him "Hubby") has been hounding me to write for thirty years and I sit here for five minutes staring at the computer screen thinking, “Ok…now what?”

My name is Pam and I’ve always been a procrastinator. I’ve also always been someone who never finishes anything. I can be so gung-ho for a project at its inception. Then for some reason the enthusiasm just wanes into non-existence. I must have some sort of inherent flaw. But, then again, maybe I’m just normal. Maybe everyone else has the same sort of feelings I do. Could it be that everyone feels the way I do and some of us give in to it while others resist it?

This blog is probably a doomed project. It will likely suffer the same fate as the myriads of other projects I have undertaken in my 52 years. Gathering dust in a server file somewhere…or in this case, in a never-accessed file on an ancient hard-drive. I’m not sure if I can think of many things at which I have been successful. I started to say my marriage, but I can’t say I feel I’m successful at that, either. Hubby seems to think I’m a good wife, but I don’t agree. I’ve been told that if he thinks I’m a good wife then I must be one. He is the ultimate judge on that, isn’t he? If he is happy with me, isn’t that all that matters? I say not. I think I could be so much better. But then, perfectionism is another inherent flaw I seem to possess. You will probably find this out in more detail, should you choose to continue reading these random reflections.

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